“Gun Church Liturgy (1)”, by Sharon Rauenzahn
Our Father, which art in Heaven,
Hallowed be thy Second Amendment.
Hallowed be the First one, too, which
Confirms our Right to worship Thee
Howsoever we darn well please.
Don’t fret too much about thy Kingdom,
We will usher that in on thy behalf.
We’ll enforce thy will on Earth;
You keep doing your thing in Heaven
(I think we’re all good with that).
Give us this day our daily bread,
And forgive us our occasional misgivings,
As we work against all those
Who mistakenly work against Thee.
Lead us not into weakness or sentimentality,
But deliver us from Lefties, Pinkos,
Transgenders, Queers, Greens,
Any and all gun-control advocates, and
Above all, from Hillary Clinton.
For thine is the Kingdom, and the
Power, and the Glory that you have
Given us, forever and ever,